I__See__You

I did not piss off a creepy camera deity.

I slept with my light on last night, and it kept me awake a bit - but I couldn't have gotten to sleep at all without it.

This morning, I am thoroughly exhausted. I kept drifting off, only to jerk awake long enough to make sure I was really alone in my room, seriously. I remember groaning because I saw the alarm clock at 4am.

I want to take a nap.

So, what I've learned from this. I should not watch Paranoia Fuel videos before bed.

Like ever.

Paranoia

When you think you're really alone,
Feel the eyes of someone looking in on you~

Some days I feel like I am going insane.

There are spots over my eyes.

Imagine the snow from an old television set at about 10% opacity, overlaying the entire world. I see sparks jumping throughout my field of vision, blue and red lightning, and tiny black singularities, ringed in red. The doctors insist that there is nothing inside my eyes to block my field of vision. I suspect it to be some kind of disturbance. Perhaps all that headbanging as a child knocked a few neurons loose.

Today, these dots coalesce to appear as spiders, slowly sinking from the ceiling. It is unsettling in part because it occurs only in my peripheral vision, and when I look, there is nothing there.

There is also music in my mind, a never-ending murmur of sound. I hear songs as they were first sung to me, capturing tone and pitch more accurately than syllables and words.

It is rarer for me not to have a melody caged in my mind.

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes. (Goodbye)