Dragon Age II

 Dragon Age II. Wheeee, Dragon Age II.

Now, Yahtzee is a hard act to follow, especially since he seems to mostly just say true things in the most caustic, angry sort of way possible.

And I'm just not very angry.

So ... yeah, this morning I woke up and, over breakfast, I asked Mom, "Hey, would you be terribly upset if I married a combat animation? I think I'm in love."

And she kind of stared at me for a long moment. "Backstab?" she finally asked.

The combat in Dragon Age 2 is pretty much the main and/or only thing about Dragon Age 2. Which ... isn't really bad. It is delightfully fun to wade into combat, jumping about from foe to foe like a giant, angry flea, only instead of sucking out all their blood, you're dismembering them with daggers made entirely of death. Death. Which is, yeah, win.

It's still a Bioware game, mind, so the writing is still good, it just kind of doesn't stand up well against its predecessor...s...es. And it's still a Dragon Age game, so it's still Darker and Edgier to boot.

The plot is just kinda ... there, to facilitate Hawke gleefully reducing all of his/her/its foes to a series of ever-growing, gooey red stains on the ground. Honestly, some of the dungeons got a new paint job. All in red. With some minor variation for organ color and bone.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'ma go dismember all the giant spiders, bandits, and Qunari that decide to get in my way. Life is hard as the Free Marches' only human-shaped lawnmower.

Crazy Low Light Freewrite

So, as I don't have a lot to write about today, here's a couple of things I did back while working at the haunted house. Extreme low-light conditions mean the text is even ... less sane than it could be, but I can still read it pretty much. So, translation follows!

Dark in here

DANGER DANGER, HI VOLTAGE!

Bored, bored, bored, eyestrain

hi contrast

I'VE GOT BIG BALLS FANCY BIG BALLS

I'd rather be scaring

IS THERE SERIOUSLY TEN MINUTES BETWEEN GROUPS?

so bored

If you are near to the DARK
I will tell you 'bout the SUN
you are here NO ESCAPE
from my vision of the WORLD
you will CRY all alone
but it does not mean a thing
to me

crawling in my robes, these wounds require elixir ...

Bit-ca

SWITCHBLADE, I choose you!

IF YOU'RE CRAZY AND YOU KNOW IT KILL A (Censored)!

slow nite, take it ez

99 bottles of beer on the wall

with the sound of screaming / The walls are alive