Driving

TL;DR: Rant about people being stupid in cars. Typed Saturday. Still not dead. Woo, triumph.

Driving.

Who came up with this idea? Really? "Let's put two tons of fast-moving death in the hands of every irresponsible idiot who can answer a multiple choice test correctly. That'll end well!" Seriously.

"What? They're sixteen years old and their wee brains haven't yet fully developed (see 'coz that happens by the time you're twenty-five), so they're reckless and end up killing themselves and other people on the way to go get drunk at an underage party and/or on the way from getting drunk at an underage party? I don't understand how that could happen!" It's not that I don't have sympathy or anything, but seriously, this whole thing sounds like an accident (or several thousand) waiting to happen.

I bring this up because I have a half an hour drive to my work place, one-way, which means in practice I spend my share of time driving, which means I get to witness all kinds of stupid people behind the wheel. Especially since the people around here don't fully understand how to do the thing they're doing.

For an example: what the hell happened to signalling before changing lanes? I nearly got in a wreck today because this guy completely failed to signal that he was going to dive between me and the car in front of him. Not warning people what you're about to do is rarely a good thing, especially when it's going to be exceedingly dangerous to yourself and other people. Courting death in a major car accident on the highway is excessively dangerous, yes.

And this other guy, in a white van, did signal ... that he was going to drift across two lanes of traffic and nearly sideswipe me to get into my lane. Which is the only thing that kept me from getting into a wreck again, and that only because I deliberately gave him enough room to complete the lane change. I don't want to get crushed in a vehicular homicide, after all. This same fellow then went on to make a left turn from the wrong lane.

Am I the only person on the road who paid attention during driver's education?

Why are people stupid?

Gah.

Note to Self

Do Not Taunt Cthulhu.

So, I mentioned a while back that I was going to purchase ( X ) contacts, and also that I work at a call center, right?

So, Wednesday I forked over the $170 to buy the contacts as a kind of joke/taunt, because apparently, I don't like life, or living, or continuing to not be dead/insane (perhaps one, then the other?)

Right, so I should also mention here that all calls at my call center are recorded. All of 'em.

So, finally, I set Slendy as my background pic on a whim, since the last person who had my computer was a massive XBox fanboy, specifically Halo, which I don't like enough to want to see every day. Still question the wisdom of that decision every time my screen saver goes batshit fucking insane while I'm out on a lunch break.

So, I come back from lunch on Friday, March 4, and I get pulled pretty much immediately to do a meeting.

When I get back to my desk, I find I've been logged out, so I log back in and take a call. About two minutes in, there's massive audio distortions in the phone line, followed by a disconnect.

This continues for the rest of the day, and for select computers even into today, Saturday, March 5.

Shortly after all this started?

The satelite radio sees fit to play: "I always feel like SOMEBODY'S WATCHIN' MEEEEEEE!" just for emphasis.

All I could manage was a kind of horrified giggle.

Now, I'm willing to chalk this up to the phone people being there and fucking around.

But still.

Creepy ass coincidences freaked me out.

Still no Slender Man SIGHTINGS in Iowa though~

The End of the World as We Know It

... And I feel fantastic!

Oh wow, the Apocalypse Challenge. This is something I'm pretty confident I'm going to fail spectacularly, but it does make for something awesome to do while I'm home sick with something horrible. Pretty confident it's a sinus infection after some fashion or other.

Because having a cough that just won't go away isn't at all unnerving given my recent obsession.

So, because I figure it'll be easier, I roll together a male Sim named Joe Smith.

Per the challenge rules, he's assigned the Politics career track, which is roughly the most useless career to try and unlock in the game. It's not very useful to be able to build outside of your little 8x8 box when you're starving to death. But I go with it, figuring eventually things would work out.

Three out of four of the other politicians? Vampires.

This can only end well.

So, Joe slowly begins to climb the political career ladder, polishing podiums and a myriad of other things, I'm sure. Along the way, he inevitably catches The Death, and rises as a vampire. All good, except for the part where he's got a day job, but sure.

There's exactly one living person left that Joe Smith even knows. So Joe fixates on her, in the hopes of having living offspring (someday), not to say the occasional midnight snack.

He takes her home one day, feeds on her - and it's delicious, given the hefty mood buff he gets from it - turning her in the process.

And ... promptly keels over dead of thirst.

What.

As it turns out, Joe was suffering from this bug that caused him to suffer massive, permanent mood decreases every time he got a mood buff. Which ... is ... mind-bogglingly frustrating, not to say stupid. 

Apparently this caused him to contract depression and suicide on a full stomach. I don't even know.

So I started again, in the same neighborhood, with a different Joe.

Joe Mk II had the good fortune of being given the Criminal career track, which is immensely more useful than Politics. He's got a vampiric lover (who, herself, is in love with an Elderly Sim named Edgardo, as well; I'm pretty much letting Edgardo kick the bucket from old age). His subterranean bunker is coming along nicely, and he's almost done with the Criminal career track. He's written three books now, all of them nonfictional accounts of his life and times.

In short, Joe Mk. II actually has a chance in hell of succeeding at this.

Now we just have to hope true love really does conquer all ....

DooM ddO nA

 

 Oh ... dear. This will be difficult to transcribe.

.god yzal eht revo spmuj xof nworb kciuq ehT    s'tI

 So,               SIHT    !!!!ATRAPS SI SIHT      ynnuf

I'm                SI                                  htiw ssem ot

planning         ADNIK                               elpoep rehto

to get           NUF                              "You                 

(X) contacts    ROF SDRAWKCAB         write in tongues"

 .lol.       ZLUL EHT                          Indeed.  oopsie?

yadot ereh eb t'ndluoc shkeN ~ olleh ,olleH   w

ehS .eb ot tnaw t'ndid ehs esuaceb   h

dna thgisni reh morf tupni detnaw  oo

teg t'nod I .tobor a to hcum oot s'ehs    p

  I'm losing track of which way goes forward.       .hcum tuo    s

 It's fun to write like that. Feels oddly natural.         senihprodnE

 era sllip esuaceb tsuJ    oops    .taerg era

dna cigam ni eveileb I                   evitceffeni

raelc a no llaf niar gnikam                  Oh, hello!

kcab gninaeL .yad ynnus   If you're looking for 

  gnihctaw dna ecnef eht no   my angstbucket, she

ILLOGICAL fo tap-rettip elttil eht    wanted to be not-a-

NIAR             An Odd Mood         robot for the night.

on htiw       what the robot states is   I don't think we've

  .sduolC    Feb. 22, 2011, 12:14 AM                        met

she keeps her inner

child around her neck.

I worry sometimes about things that probably aren't

real. Is that wrong?    gnieb rebmemer I

ytreporp etavirp otno gnikaens dna elttil

tub ,yhw rebmemer yllaer t'nac I ... ot

saw I dna ot desoppus t'nerew ew

erew ereht hguoht neve enola lla

a saw ereht dna tsrif ta ereht sdik rehto

tuaeb os          saw ti dna ecalp terces               

  i               eht ni ecaep eneres fo tnemom tahT

luf    tnemele ruo otdetcennoc tsrif ew nehw loop

and green, a vivid, emerald, green. I never wanted to leave.

nomroM taht no eert eht htiw gninummoC
eybdoog gniyaS .pirt gnipmac hsilrig
secalp dliw gnitisiv ssim I .das os saw

Why am I writing all this BACKWARDS?
Hello!   ¡ɥnp   'unɈ   ϛ,+!   əϛnɒɔəє|         +ϛə+    ɦ+!|ɒuoϛɹəd   əuo    əɥ+
¡olləH                       rof gip gnicaf sdrawkcab a s'tI     I think the Sharpie
fumes are getting to me.
.nwod os eb ton ot ecin sleef tI ecno rof thgir lla m'I
.ti ekil I . larutan ylgrisirprus sleef sihT

So, you 

DO write

in tongues.

Great.

E    T
N   hi
D    s
O   mad
R    ness
P   brought

H   to
I    you      e   __0
N    by     e //   |=|
E           e  //    |=|
S       e  //        |=|
whee  //           |=|
0==//              |=|

YHW

DLUOHS

EB TON I

? YPPAH

I'm 

pretty 

sure it's 

not my 

ears that

are ringing

but my 

bedroom

I don't 

hear it

anywhere

else.

Kind of

has a 

pattern to

it like

dataz

Hello, hello,

hola! My

place con

vertigo ....

Tiny Freewrite

So, fair warning, this post is depressing. Like, very. Like, I might as well slap "Trigger Warning" on the front if you're a particularly sensitive, easily-depressed person. Written Thursday, before the whole ... dog ... thing.

 

Purse-sized notebook is pretty cool

Writing smaller to fill full quantity of content.

Talking and thinking is becoming garbled.

Multiple Monsters, can't recommend.

Sleepy. So sleepy. Terribly sleepy.
CAFFEINE IS GREAT.

I feel sometimes like this whole blog is one long ode to sanity slippage.
Then again, aren't all blogs that even so much as mention the Slender Man a bit like that?

Planning to buy Droid for self for Valentine's Day. No male/female/inanimate object to serenade, and getting paid.

Valentine's day: Because FUCK single people am I right?
w
aita
sec
I'M
SINGLE

Thinking about selling off old computer since it's never used.

Destroy she said   THE END
   My love again     WILL
Don't try again      COME
   to make amends  QUICKLY
  (A boat)              YOU'LL JUST
   (I'm on one)        END UP Sinking
If you explode in aftermath
Don't think that you've
DESTROY    been Dreaming
she said    My love again
When it's not worth keeping

TVTROPES
WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE. Seems like a lot of people learn about Slendy via TVTropes. So is it TVTropes will END your life? Whoops.

tinyurl for tiny text. I don't ever use the full link, and since you're here, probably you knew that, huh? ( X )

Google has become a verb. It's like using a band-aid. Technically it's a bandage, but eh. Some wacky foreigners call it a "plaster," too. I think mostly Brit

GAH LIGHT VERY BRIGHT
I mentioned that I'm a very boring person who mostly stays home right? Sunshine is shiny. It's dark in my house. Like a CAVE inside. I'm a very nocturnal person too, seriously. Before I started my job I was going to bed at 8 AM.

Otterbox cases are apparently BOMB-proof. Run it over, drop it in the toilet, hit it with a hammer, and the phone still works. I just wow.

Twitter being faster on my phone is kind of sad to me. The computer in my hand is nice. Want the Droid.

I kind of like this wonky line in the middle here.

Technical support with people who should never have a cell phone, much less a smartphone. FUN.

I suck at everything and I'm stupid and I should just die.

Phone trees are cyborgs. They're made partly of people, partly of machinery. PHONE TREES will kill the world.

Rolling words in my head. I don't think there's even a Bluff around here at all. This place is kind of flat. Maybe they're referring to bluff as in the horrible lies sense. With a high enough bluff check you can pretty much rewrite reality. LOLOL.

Everyone makes stupid mistakes. IF I'm so smart then I Shouldn't. EVER.
My god you're such a whiny fucking BITCH Should just DIE. Fuckfuckfuck. Suck at everything.

Probably shouldn't post this.

DUMB BITCH. =(

Unlikable loser. Only thing worse than a know-it-all is a stupid know-it-all who's a fucking idiot.

Hahahahaha. "Nightly ritual of bitching about how everybody but me and my healer are incompetent." That assumes I'M not incompetent. I suck just as much if not more. 


I'm my own worst enemy
DON'T LET ME GET ME
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating 
DON'T WANNA BE MY FRIEND NO MORE
I wanna be somebody else.


ALL
I do is bitch and whine, bitch and whine. How can anybody stand me?
Shut up.


My brain is so empty the thoughts are falling out. I think I hate myself. I really do.

Feeling queasy. Didn't sleep enough.     FUCKING
Depressed and STUPID I'm such a       IDIOT                                              ANY
Like a black cloud in my head that I can't begin to penetrate. Like I'm good for THING. 

Had a weird-ass dream this morning. Two actually. First one I thought I was waking up and then my door opened. A grayscale clown tried to shove his way into my room, and he succeeded, but I smashed the door on him a few times, then hit him a lot with my sword (it has a wooden sheath so I just use it like a club). And he kept laughing. I got the impression I managed to shut out something worse though.

The other dream was just as weird. I was laying on the ground in the underbrush of a forest. I saw two pictures in front of me, only they weren't photos, they were like five-second videos on some kind of clear plastic substance. The pictures - was it two or three? - were of little boys I'd never seen before. When I reached out to look at them (there wasn't any clothing, but it was a bust shot every time) a shadow fell over me and I just knew it was the Slender Man. Worse: NO AUDIO.

Felt like I lurched sideways out of my body just now. Feeling dizzy and disoriented, eyes are watering, what the hell.

CIV

So, Firday I purchased a new game to try to take my mind off of being so depressed/paranoid/sobbing ball of angst. That game was Civilization IV.

I think I've actually found something to do between digsites. Wow.

So the first thing you need to know about Civ that I didn't fully comprehend at first is that it's very, very long. Like, very. Like, by the time the day was out, I wasn't quite done with the game I'd started that morning.

This isn't the first or only game of its kind that I've played. I mean, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri is one of the bigger reasons I plan to keep a computer with XP around for a while.

But yes. Civ. Long. There are no zerg.

That said, I had a bit of fun playing around with it.

At first.

Once I got over how long it took to even get my first other unit, I ran up against the fact that I pretty much had to shoot for the score victory, because the few cultures (read all) that had survived to the modern era didn't really like me well enough to vote for me (because they didn't like each other to tolerate me associating with all of them). Next time I play peacefully I'm tempted to see if I can strong-arm my opponents into starting up long, bloody wars to ostracize and murder the competition for me.

You know. Peacefully.

Alternatively, nukes.

The Space Race is another win condition I might be able to do peacefully, except for how long it takes to get there, which I am slowly shortening down to the lowest possible number.

I discovered something in pursuing the Space Race, too.

The AI? (On Chieftan difficulty?) Not really designed to operate in a void. I started up a new playthrough after my first attempt crashed to the desktop (damn you, Windows), remaining peaceful - and isolated, thanks to living on a tiny island. By the time the other cultures' feeble wooden ships skimmed near my shores, I was exploring nuclear technology - and defending myself against the possibility that, I dunno, maybe one of my own engineers would go nuts and bomb my own cities, maybe? None of the other cultures were even in a position to try to comprehend the technologies I was developing. I was in a position to dominate the world, and I was seriously contemplating crushing my opposition under the sheer force of my nuclear might because I could do so unopposed.

And I think I'm going to do that on my next playthrough.

Which brings me to something else that amuses me greatly: Mom brought up that throughout her listening to my discovery of new technologies, there was never the mention of any kind of witch burnings, nor even the Crusades or any kind of religious warfare. Despite the fact that my technology rapidly approached the 'indistinguishable from magic' point compared to my contemporaries, and I founded four separate religions on my tiny island.

Burn the witch! Before she BURNS YOU IN THE RIGHTEOUS NUCLEAR FIRE OF GOD!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - BOOM!

Admission

Or, the Awkward Post

So it's Monday again, and I figure, why not.

Since last week was all about the Slender Man, now's as good a time as any to mention that I write in advance as far as I possibly can. You know, just in case I get abducted by Candlejack or somethi

All joking aside, this entry was written Thursday of two weeks ago.

Hello, future me! Have you been abducted yet?

Probably not.

In the daylight hours, I find it easier to ignore, disregard, and disbelieve in lines of fantastic reasoning. I prefer to think rationally in situations that require logic.

Other admissions, given the post title here's as good a place as any for them:

I actually identify as Asexual IRL. I don't know if it ever came up, or became particularly obvious. It's more apparent IRL than online, in my opinion: I have spent my entire life immersed in a sex-driven culture, and have absorbed the vernacular. Besides that, I tend toward apathy. It's fairly hard to showcase a lack of something. Probably the most obvious clue is how utterly oblivious I am toward being hit on (a trait that accidentally transfers to my characters in RP, since I don't even notice). I have to be pretty much hit over the head with a shovel to recognize a compliment.

Speaking of apathy and lifestyle choices, I tend to label myself agnostic. I am the exact opposite of a religious fanatic of any stripe: I actually don't care enough. Religion is one of those things that is almost impossible to prove, and without proof, I can't really care too much which invisible, omniscient, omnipresent entity I "should" be trying to appease - and how would I actually know, anyway?

That said, I wear a pentagram, not a cross. Of all the mystical, metaphysical babble I've bothered to expose myself to, Wicca is probably the most empowering and female-positive.